Guys...what's a girl to do?

So, you don't date. You believe in saving romance for when God decides you are ready for marriage, but where does that leave you with boys now?
I have mulled over this question a lot this past year. I've known friends who want to know how to just be friends with guys, then they get themselves tied up into situations where there is suddenly an attachment.

While thinking this over, I was reminded of Paul’s words to Timothy concerning relationships between those in God’s family. He said, “Treat younger men as brothers...and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.” (1 Timothy 5:1-2)

Absolute purity. Wow. That’s total purity, without any hints of flirting, or lust. It makes sense when you think about it; shouldn’t we want to show this type of respect to our brothers’ purity? Isn’t playing with their emotions disrespectful?

But you can become emotionally attached to someone without even going on a date! So, what’s a girl to do? Daughters who heed the words of Solomon’s bride to “not awaken love until it pleases” (Songs of Solomon 3), and young daughters who heed the words of their parents to wait for a better love that God has in store for them in future courtship should use careful judgment and self-control when with guys.

First of all, don’t play with fire. Being “just friends” with boys that you struggle to suppress feelings for (or if they seem to have feelings for you) is just ridiculous. Better to quickly smother the first few warning sparks of something that could develop into more than friendship by putting space between yourself and guy. He could cause danger to your heart’s protection. Do this before someone falls head-over-heels into a fiery case of infatuation.

If you are in a situation where there is more than temporary attraction occurring, where there is a serious interest, you should talk with your dad about it. Your father is the guardian of your heart after all. (see article on this topic).

And here’s another thing, your actions can affect others. You can’t prevent your attractiveness ;) but you are involved in weakening the boundaries of your brother’s heart. To put things in perspective, think about how almost every guy you know has a future wife selected for him. If his wife could watch you, would you be quite as inclined to tease and regularly chat with him via Facebook and texting? And what about your own future husband? Would you be ready to introduce him to your dear friend Joey with whom you’ve shared many heart-to-heart talks with? Don’t you think your husband might be a bit suspicious or jealous of his bride’s intimate “guyfriend?” And turn the situation around...would you want your hubby sharing intimate conversations with another woman?

Remember, absolute, total purity is our standard. Be wise with guys, this includes whom you choose to have as friends. There are countless foolish boys that you could have as friends...guys who merely pretend to be men. These are not the people you want to be spending a lot of time with, girls. For those of you who have been blessed with good Christian fathers, look to them as the ideal of manhood instead.

Proverbs 13:20: “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.”

Personally, I made the choice to go out with just trusted girlfriends, or have a trusted adult supervising when I am with a group of girls and guys. I do not go out alone with just a guy, and I’ve made this choice to show respect to my own heart, my future husband’s heart, my parent’s wishes, and my future spouse’s heart.

Romans 12:10 says, “Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.”
When you chose to honor your brothers’ hearts, you are showing the best love a sister can give. Let’s make it our goal to outdo what the standard is; pushing onwards toward embracing the purity God wants for his children...purity for brothers and sisters alike.